the life of tea

For Kylee, who knew how to drink from a cup of bitterness while drinking deeply of Christ. I love you, friend.

Tea is a staple in India (and many parts of the world). It serves as an excuse to call people into your home. It is a sweet (and sometimes bitter) way of sharing. An excuse to make a conversation go on longer.

I've never been much of a tea drinker. I've always secretly wanted to be one of those people who can put a very emo/organic/hippie facebook status report about the most recent exotic tea they just drank over a book or song that made them cry. But, it's just not me.

A few days ago a neighbor knocked on our door and said that she and her husband would like to come by this weekend. I ecstatically agreed and knew what I needed to do. I went out that day and purchased my first tea set. A reminder of the promise I heard God give me a few months ago, "You have friendships waiting for you in India." That tea set looked so beautiful to me that day.

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Something else I want is to be good at mourning. It may sound crazy, but in the last year I have been so humbled to see the way God draws near during times of pain and sadness. This world is not in it's ideal state, and that should be sad to us. Knowing Christ is not a reason to "be strong and quit crying"; knowing Christ is the reason why we can drink deeply of sadness and loss without fear of being overtaken by them. Those of us who know Christ should be the best mourners; not the ones who avoid it.

Mourning is a staple in most of the world. Some cultures are just plain good at it. Jews sit for days at a time, tear clothes, spread ash on their heads. In Chennai, a group of men carry the body through the streets, making sure to block traffic and force regular life to stop if even for just one second. God praises women who are good at mourning.

This morning, I lost a dear friend. A friend who was one of those women God praises for their skillfull mourning. Is it cliche to say that she was young, beautiful, and left us too soon? Either way, it's true. I felt so sad. I still feel sad. I will feel sad for a long time. I didn't know what to do; I needed some kind of an expression for my aching heart. I made a batch of tea, leaving out the sugar. I sat at my kitchen table, sipping the bitter tea until it was gone. It hurt. A lot. It also felt good.

I'm not sure the purpose of this post. Maybe being so far away from all of the other mourners, I needed to have a forum to share my hurting heart.

Thankfully, I have my husband, my tears, and a cup of tea.

and Jesus.