Monday, October 25, 2010

Lemony Bitterness: a rant

A few years ago I realized that lemon scented cleaners have wreaked havoc on my ability to enjoy anything lemon flavored. My most recent bitter moment came while enjoying a date night with my hubby at a local Thai restaurant. The waitress poured traditional Thai tea with a pungent lemon smell. One whiff of the tea filling that cute little Thai cup turned me into a 12 year old dusting my mom's piano, trying not to break all of her Precious Moments figurines. I've had similar moments over the last 5 years that increase my beef with the Pine Sol lady (you know, the one with the dreads who has been doing lemony-fresh commercials since 1992). I seriously don't get it. Why have the lemon people sacrificed the countless commercial marketing opportunities with teas, cakes, marinades, candles, etc for the floor cleaning industry. It's a waste of a perfectly good citrus, if you ask me.

So, take this as a public service announcement: Stop using lemon-scented cleaners. Seriously. If your children, in whom you want to instill a 'dignity of work' value, have any hope of enjoying lemon flavored food, you MUST stop using these vehicles of dessert destruction.

I would really like to be cured of this association. Until then, my bitterness smells like lemon-scented Pine sol.

Sunday, October 3, 2010


As a part of their jobs, many of the trainees are asked to pick pseudonyms for when they are on the phone. Some Americans have a difficulty hearing and repeating Srikalaivaani, and so they are asked to start going by "Paul" or "Carrie". Thus begins the infamous dialogue:

"Hi, welcome to (huge company), my name is Cory, how may I help you?"
"Wait, your name isn't really Cory, is it? I know your name isn't Cory. What's your real name"
"Hari Kumar Balasubramanian"
"Umm, ok, let's stick with Cory."

From time to time I hear back from the trainees who are getting ready to start answering phones. A few days ago one sent me an email stating that he had been asked to choose a pseudonym and was proud to tell me that he had chosen Neil Miller as his fake name. I was at once amazed and in disbelief. Flattered, yet slightly unsettled. So, just in case you run into him on the phone, I wanted to let everyone know that I have neither switched jobs nor started a cult.